Come to the Dark Side…We have Cookies

I’ve immersed myself in polyamory in the past year. I’ve been an advocate for non-traditional relationships. We shouldn’t have the expectation to find that one person who meets all of your needs.

But I did.

We have more in common than I could have thought possible. The connection, while not instant, was very quick, and extremely intense.

It was like Titanic (not that I’m a huge fan of that movie, but I honestly can’t really think of anything similar). Within only a couple weeks, we are more in love with each other than we ever thought possible.

Not only does he give me good sexual orgasms, but he also gives me constant “love orgasms.” These orgasms can happen fully clothed, or even miles apart. There is a complete build, and finally explode in a complete feeling of love. It is such an amazing feeling to love so much and be loved just as much in return.

We see each other every day, and have even from the beginning. When we had plans that forced us to be apart for longer, one of us would inevitably try to change our plans so that we could see each other. Now, we spend every single night together, alternating apartments.

We both had other partners, but I began to wonder why. Why is polyamory so great, when you can have love this intense? It may be just a crazy beginning, but one of my friends’ relationship with her husband started out just like this. They were engaged within 3 months, and have been happily married for 13 years.

I’ve never really been jealous other than for time specifically, but for the first time ever, I really felt like I wanted to be his only.

While I was considering going mono, my monogamous friend told me to, “come to the dark side…we have cookies.” And extremely passionate love; so much that I can’t stand the thought of spending time away from him to be with another partner. I loved the idea of polyamory, and for a while even identified as solo poly, but over the past months to a year have begun to fantasize more and more about the relationship escalator.

After a good amount of contemplation and discussion, we decided to become monogamous. I want to spend every minute of my life with him. It probably won’t be long until we’ll overcome the final obstacle of convenience and live together.

I’ve never had love like this. Now I know how powerful Love can be. We both feel like the word just doesn’t have enough weight. We wish there was a word even stronger, because our feelings for each other have just grown that completely intense.

When I say “I love you,” I mean I smile every time I see you and when I think about you, my body becomes relaxed and aches for your presence and touch. I mean I never want to be apart from you, and I think you’re immeasurably attractive and sweet at every level; everything I learn about you and your past just makes me love you even more. I mean seeing you smile makes me happy and I want to do everything I can to facilitate your being happy, and I appreciate it so endlessly that what makes you happiest is just having me around.

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4 Responses to Come to the Dark Side…We have Cookies

  1. aggiesez says:

    I’m happy that you’re happy. Congrats.

    That said, one part of this post did bug me. You wrote: “I loved the idea of polyamory, and for a while even identified as solo poly, but over the past months to a year have begun to fantasize more and more about the relationship escalator. …Now I know what Love really is.”

    …Um, I’m hoping you don’t mean to imply that the love and other deeply intimate connections and feelings that solo poly people experience aren’t “real” or any less important or valid than those of people riding the monogamous relationship escalator?

    I realize you’re writing about your own experience, but your phrasing did strike me at a bit denigrating.

    • So sorry about that! I really didn’t mean it that way! I changed the wording. I know that love in poly relationships can be just as real as monogamous relationships.

    • I noticed the same thing with this: “Why is polyamory so great, when you can have love this intense?”
      The answer, of course, is that you can have love just as intense with polyamory. It’s not a scarce resource to be divided. Like aggiesez, I realize you’re just posting about your own experience, but you do seem to be assuming that everyone experiences love the same way you do.

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