Porn Review: Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples

Tristan’s new movie, “Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples,” (featuring Asa Akira, Aiden Starr, Adrianna Nicole, Lyla Storm, Evan Stone, Derrick Pierce, Danny Wylde, and Christian) is geared not towards those who already identify as kinky, but to those who were intrigued by 50 Shades of Grey. The film fits in with Tristan’s other educational porn, though seemed a bit more beginner than most of her other movies. The back of the box reads:

The worldwide phenomenon of Filthy Shades of Grey has made kinky sex more popular than ever. Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples is an educational film for couples interested in exploring the kinkier side of sex who are just beginning their exploration. Renowned sex expert Tristan Taormino explains how to talk to your partner about your fantasies and how to bring them to life. She covers popular kink activities including sensation play, dominant submissive roleplay, light bondage, and anal sex. Plus, you’ll learn about kinky toys like blindfolds, bondage cuffs, collars, and nipple clamps and how to use them safely and creatively to spice up your sex life. Then, four couples demonstrate tips, techniques, and kinky toys to help you take your sex life to the next level. From feather ticklers to butt plugs, this sexy instructional film is sure to inspire you! Kinky, romantic, and educational!

I would give this movie 4 out of 5 stars. Tristan’s movies always are excellently put together, sexy, and informative. The scenes, while sexy, realistic, and well shot, aren’t accompanied by quite as much education as I would have hoped for a beginner movie like this.

The movie begins with a lesson of generic, beginner information to the world of kink, to give the watcher a very informative platform to start out with, including terminology, descriptions of roles, and suggestions for communication of existing fantasies. There is an emphasis on consent and rules and negotiation, which is crucial for  a BDSM scene. Tristan encourages people to get involved in the community, online and in-person, though doesn’t actually say how to best go about doing that.

Tristan also walks through a lot of toys that are good for people to start out with. Tristan has made the entire list of toys used in the film available on her website. Throughout the movie, a variety of toys are introduced, beginning with things that I think of as more vanilla, like massage oil candles and edible powder. The Original Magic Wand is also prominently featured throughout. (Wait…it’s not the “Hitachi” anymore? Crazay!)

There was an extensive discussion of top vs. bottom and dominance & submission. Though there were periodical reminders that anyone can be the dom and anyone can be the sub, the gender pronouns were consistently used for male=dom, female=sub. Many different good games were suggested to get the viewer thinking about ways to integrate power dynamics into their own play. Danny called D/S play, “cowboys and Indians for adults,” which was a fun way to think about it.

To quote Tristan, “anal sex is a little naughty.” Though there was extensive discussion about anal technique, it seemed to be lacking on the safety side of things. While there was repetition of, “if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong,” and the importance of warm-up and lube, vague encouragement of condom use, and a suggestion of water enemas, there was no discussion of bacteria. A penis or toy should never go from the ass to the vag without being cleaned or re-sheathed. I was also surprised that though there was a plethora of analingus in the scenes, there was no mention of dental dams. It’s not just STIs we’re worried about there, folks.

Similarly, there was a lot of foot licking in the scenes. While I’m not sure how much there really is that should be stated about it, I didn’t remember any mention of it as a potentially new kinky thing to try.

Even though I’m mostly straight, I mostly enjoy watching women in porn, so I liked that the camera does tend to focus more on the women than the men. I expect that this is perhaps due to the fact that this film is marketed to people who probably haven’t likely been watching mostly feminist porn, and they want something a bit more mainstream, closer to what they’re likely familiar to.

Consent is really core to the center of exploration of kink and BDSM, and though it was strongly emphasized in abstract towards the beginning, I was disappointed in its continued reiteration, especially in comparison to Tristan’s Rough Sex video. At one point, Derrick says, “I don’t care if she likes it, I just like spanking!” While this is within a good description of why a dom should like spanking, I thought that particular quote undermines the core of consent. Active consent is also not largely present, especially in the Evan/Adrianna scene. Discussion of limits is also not shown, though I suppose at a beginning level, people wouldn’t necessarily know where their limits might be.

One complaint of mine is that the sound is not equalized between the talking scenes and the sex scenes. The sex is a lot quieter than the talking. I can see the benefit of this, but without turning the volume up and down between the scenes, it was difficult to hear what the actors were saying to each other during the scenes.

The first scene was between Danny and Lyla. This scene involved collars, sensation play, blindfolds, massage, and a lot of dirty talk. To me at least, it felt quite vanilla. The actors had a very fun dynamic between the two of them, and showed what it could be like to just spice things up a little bit.

The second scene was between Evan and Adrianna. Though this was a strong demonstration of D/S, there was minimal to no affirmation of consent, which I think is an important piece to show for beginning BDSM. One great thing about this scene is that the scene specifically continues after Evan cums – he continues on, getting Adrianna off with the Magic Wand and cunnilingus.

The third scene was between Aiden and Christian. Aiden is a very good fem-dom and it was fun to see her control Christian, who is about twice her size. One of her more amusing moves was making him constantly say “thank you.” Male or female, Aiden showed some fun things to do in the dominant role.

The fourth and final scene was between Asa and Derrick. This, in my opinion, was the hottest scene of the movie. This is where they bring out the fun toys (again, IMO). They use kegel balls, butt plugs, and the Magic Wand in great combination with spanking and penetration. The scenes involving anal make a point to show that the actors do in fact use lube, to encourage use in your own bedroom.

Tristan has also recently had some of the actors on her podcast, Sex Out Loud, so you should check that out to learn more about their thoughts on filming this and other movies.

Special Features!

Behind the scenes: There is a very hilarious moment. You’ll just have to buy the DVD to figure out what it is!

Interviews: The whole pre-sex interviews are on the DVD, which are interesting, especially in seeing the great dynamics between the pairs.

Bonus sex scene: This is a pretty vanilla, fairly “traditional” sex scene. I’ve gotten so used to Tritan’s educational model that begins with discussion, it feels weird to not have that in this scene.

All in all, Tristan Taormino’s “Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples” is a fairly vanilla introduction to kink with some great scenes, but is a bit lacking in the discussion of safety.

You can buy a copy of the DVD here.

See other reviews for this movie on Tristan’s website.

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One Response to Porn Review: Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples

  1. Pingback: Porn Review: Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples | Poly Aphrodite

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