Catholic Conversation

Recently, I had dinner with a friend of mine from college, who is Catholic, and about as different from me as possible.

I am atheist, not sure I ever want to get married, and just about positive I never want kids. She’s a very devout Catholic, married, pregnant with her first of probably many children, and very happy about the whole situation. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

After not having any contact whatsoever in the 3 years since college, we met at an abortion protest – on opposite sides of the fence. We exchanged contact info before we were told to split apart; the opposing sides weren’t supposed to engage in conversation.

She plans to use a fertility awareness method of birth control. While this method does provide a very intense state of awareness of your body, it has the obvious downside of not allowing you to have sex any time you want (which she claims is a good thing), and takes time and effort to take daily records. She disapproves of hormonal birth control, even used primarily as a means to reduce menstrual cramping.

When she commented that birth control pills are inconvenient to take every day, as attested to by her friend, I replied that I agreed; and that I chose the IUD instead, which made my cramps completely disappear, and lets me have sex whenever I want to, without worrying about getting pregnant (though safe sex is another issue).

She spent most of the evening talking about how excited she is about her soon-to-be-born baby. When I said that I don’t know many people [my age] with kids, her husband chimed in, “that’s because you hang out with Planned Parenthood people.” (And everyone knows, Planned Parenthood people love killing babies and stuff). Hmm…yet somehow I don’t think any of my friends have had abortions, they just don’t want kids yet. It feels really weird to me for people my age to have kids already. I suppose I’m responsible enough now that I want to get a cat…I just have absolutely no desire for a baby.

When I told her that my boyfriend was married, she said, “that’s too bad.” Hah. If I made a pro/con list, I actually think I’d end up with a longer list of pros…though I don’t really have any intention of actually making that list. I love him, that’s all that matters. 😀 They didn’t really say much about polyamory; they mainly just talked about how the prevalence of divorce is hurting society. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that, but I do think sex negativity and a mono-centric society is at least partially responsible for the high divorce rate.

We disagree on birth control, gay marriage, marriage, family styles, and more…yet are still capable of being friends.

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2 Responses to Catholic Conversation

  1. Wow, good on you both for being able to stay friends with such different views – on such touchy topics, too!

  2. Beth says:

    I love that you are able to have a respectful friendship with someone so different from you. I have a close friend who is a very religious Christian, while I’m a secular Jew. We’ve pretty much admitted to ourselves and each other that neither of us will ever be in a romantic relationship that the other one understands and would want for herself, but we manage to be very close and rarely offend each other.

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