I’ve noticed a lot of blogs lately talking about how poly people identifying as “queer” is wrong, and that they should not equate themselves with the LGBT community, since LGBT people have suffered so much more than poly people ever have, e.g. LGBT people have been killed, but poly people “only” have gotten their children taken away.
I don’t actively consider myself “queer” for being poly, but I do sort of like that label.
However, I do have a problem with people saying that poly is more acceptable than LGBT. When I came out to my mom, she said she’d wished I’d come out as lesbian, as it would have been a lot easier to deal with. Other poly people I know got the same reaction when they came out to their parents.
I’ll admit that it’s easier to hide as a straight poly person than as a gay or lesbian. I can bring my boyfriend as a date, and if he takes off his ring, it looks like we’re completely normal. I have yet to really be in the situation where bringing more than one date would be appropriate (given interest/availability of my partners), but in that scenario, it would be perhaps similar to being gay or lesbian.
The point is though, I DON’T WANT TO HIDE! I just got a new job, and I’m 99% sure that they’d be cool with my being poly, but I don’t want to come out too soon. Today, we were talking about sleep habits and whatnot. I mentioned that I tend to wake up when my boyfriend rolls over in bed. I later told them about “another….guy….I know”‘s experience with his iPhone app tracking his sleep cycles. I don’t know why I feel strange calling him my “friend,” but I do. I wanted to continue the story, something about sleeping in the same bed with him, but I didn’t want to portray him as an ex either. I ended up mainly talking about the app, not about any particular sleep habits.
Gay marriage was legalized in Minnesota today, and though I’m not necessarily for legalization of polyamory, I think it still has a long way to go until it reaches the cultural acceptance as homosexuality.
I don’t mean this to be a whiney rant, but at least in my experience, it’s much more normal to see two men kissing, than a triad acting obvious in public.