Coming Out as Poly

I am poly. And I love it. I only recently started learning about the poly community through Polyamory Weekly, Ethical Slut, Wikipedia, Savage Lovecast and more.

I have dated many people, sometimes at the same time, but never very seriously, so I’d never really specifically identified with poly. Recently, I got my first “real boyfriend.” From the very beginning, I knew he was married in an open relationship. I didn’t question it at all. He was very sweet. The fact that he was married was never even a factor for me. He is my boyfriend, who values his family, and who is super adorable.

I want to tell the world about him! But it feels wrong to tell someone about him and leave out the detail that he’s married, and lives with his wife and her boyfriend. His family is extremely important to him, and I like that about him.

I’ve told many people about my boyfriend, about how he’s sweet, how we met, etc, and they all are completely receptive and happy and supportive…until I say he’s married. Nothing I say after that ever really gets them over the shock of learning that he does not conform to the social norm of monogamy. They don’t really care if I conform or not…because I’m not married.

How can I tell people about my polyamorous relationship, without completely shocking them?

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